Exploring Grief and Loss in Finding Neverland
The following is an excerpt from a recent review for one of my grad classes.
Dealing with grief over the loss of loved ones is a major theme running through Finding Neverland. The movie focuses on Peter’s response to his father’s death and his discovery that his mother is terminally ill. Peter has gone through a transformation since we first met him in the beginning of the movie.
He responded to his father’s death by becoming emotionally distant and “growing up” beyond his years. He has no time for silliness and seems to be a very serious and very sad young boy. James (a playwright who has befriended Peter’s mother and family), however, has a gift with people and develops an almost mystical relationship with Peter, inspiring him to dream again, to hope again, and to trust again.
In a key scene, James and Peter’s mom sit down outside James’ country cabin to watch a play that Peter has written. As the scene progresses, we see Peter introducing his play and his cast (his brothers and sister). As the play develops, Peter’s mom begins to cough until the coughing is uncontrollable. The play stops, the doctor visits, and Peter finally expresses his emotions in the form of anger.
We are alerted by the sound of glass and watch as James goes outside and finds Peter destroying the set that he created. Instead of stopping him, James sits down and gives Peter the precious space he needs to express himself. Peter explains how his mother “lied” to him about his father’s health, telling him and his siblings that his father would be ready to go fishing in a week. Instead, he died the next day.
Peter’s mom has been telling him that she has a chest cold and that everything is okay. Peter knows that everything is not okay, but no one will entrust him with the truth. Instead, they minimize the severity of the situation and he responds by saying, “I won’t be lied to. I won’t be made a fool!” With that, his mother comes out and tries to console him, saying, “It’s only a chest cold,” which further infuriates him. He pulls himself away from her arms and runs off.
This scene shows a stark contrast between how people allow others to experience the pain of loss and to join them in grief. Peter’s mom wants to shield him from the pain and elects not to tell him. She grieves the loss of her husband and her own terminal illness independently. In essence, she models independent grieving (or the seeming lack of grieving) for her children, of whom Peter is most negatively affected. Peter needs to know how to grieve and longs for his mother to tell him the truth, no matter how painful she thinks it is. By not telling Peter the truth, she keeps him at a distance from herself – the very person he longs to be near.
On the other hand we have James who sits in the chair and allows Peter to vent. He does not try to stop him or shield him from the pain of the situation. Later in the film, James encourages Peter’s mother to allow her children to grieve with her –anticipatory grief – by telling them the truth about her situation and being emotionally present with them. The painfulness of the situation cannot be avoided and James helps the family live and love through the pain. The film ends with one of the most beautiful, bittersweet scenes and provides the family (not to mention the audience) a way to grieve and celebrate life at the same time.
Dealing with grief over the loss of loved ones is a major theme running through Finding Neverland. The movie focuses on Peter’s response to his father’s death and his discovery that his mother is terminally ill. Peter has gone through a transformation since we first met him in the beginning of the movie.
He responded to his father’s death by becoming emotionally distant and “growing up” beyond his years. He has no time for silliness and seems to be a very serious and very sad young boy. James (a playwright who has befriended Peter’s mother and family), however, has a gift with people and develops an almost mystical relationship with Peter, inspiring him to dream again, to hope again, and to trust again.
In a key scene, James and Peter’s mom sit down outside James’ country cabin to watch a play that Peter has written. As the scene progresses, we see Peter introducing his play and his cast (his brothers and sister). As the play develops, Peter’s mom begins to cough until the coughing is uncontrollable. The play stops, the doctor visits, and Peter finally expresses his emotions in the form of anger.
We are alerted by the sound of glass and watch as James goes outside and finds Peter destroying the set that he created. Instead of stopping him, James sits down and gives Peter the precious space he needs to express himself. Peter explains how his mother “lied” to him about his father’s health, telling him and his siblings that his father would be ready to go fishing in a week. Instead, he died the next day.
Peter’s mom has been telling him that she has a chest cold and that everything is okay. Peter knows that everything is not okay, but no one will entrust him with the truth. Instead, they minimize the severity of the situation and he responds by saying, “I won’t be lied to. I won’t be made a fool!” With that, his mother comes out and tries to console him, saying, “It’s only a chest cold,” which further infuriates him. He pulls himself away from her arms and runs off.
This scene shows a stark contrast between how people allow others to experience the pain of loss and to join them in grief. Peter’s mom wants to shield him from the pain and elects not to tell him. She grieves the loss of her husband and her own terminal illness independently. In essence, she models independent grieving (or the seeming lack of grieving) for her children, of whom Peter is most negatively affected. Peter needs to know how to grieve and longs for his mother to tell him the truth, no matter how painful she thinks it is. By not telling Peter the truth, she keeps him at a distance from herself – the very person he longs to be near.
On the other hand we have James who sits in the chair and allows Peter to vent. He does not try to stop him or shield him from the pain of the situation. Later in the film, James encourages Peter’s mother to allow her children to grieve with her –anticipatory grief – by telling them the truth about her situation and being emotionally present with them. The painfulness of the situation cannot be avoided and James helps the family live and love through the pain. The film ends with one of the most beautiful, bittersweet scenes and provides the family (not to mention the audience) a way to grieve and celebrate life at the same time.
posted by Dave Jones at 2:59 PM
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