Self-Appreciation
I don’t know about you, but I somehow adopted the belief that it is not okay to appreciate yourself. Rather, it is better to put yourself down, consider yourself as unworthy, a “sinner”, in need of grace, or whatever the lingo – the message is the same. Now, I’m not talking about narcissism, just a healthy view of self.
We are not all bad. We’re not all good, either. We’re somewhere along a continuum, and I think we are worse when we think we are. In other words, when we think of ourselves as bad and subscribe to the doctrine of self-deprecation, we tend to be what we think we are. And if we are not, but believe we are, then we live trapped in a world of condemnation and confusion.
I’m subscribing to the principle of healthy self-appreciation. I don’t need any help finding my flaws. I’ve had plenty of practice and others are more than likely to help with the job :). I do need a bit of help finding the good.
I think what I’m saying is that we need to learn to love ourselves. The less we love ourselves, the less we love others. I believe there is a direct correlation between self-love and others-love.
If you read the words of the miracle-working, self-loving, others-loving, healthy-living, prophesying, preaching man named Jesus, he promoted self-love prior (or at least alongside) others-love. He’s recorded as saying that men should love each other as they love themselves.
One of the basic principles of life is you can’t give what you don’t have. And sometimes you can get what you don’t have by trying to get it. I think there has to be a balance. I have experienced a growth of self-love through acts of service/love to others. The truth is that we have a lot to give.
One of my roles as a counselor-in-training is to help clients see what they do have. And I believe that there are times when you have to give what you don’t think you have in order to discover that you have it. Sometimes you do not feel capable of giving love, but upon attempting to give it, you find resources that were untapped and unrecognized. Through this, self-love grows.
So I am not advocating self-love that simply loves self, because I don’t think we can really love ourselves if we are not loving others. The two are inextricably linked. I am advocating both and see self-deprecation as eliminating both.
We are not all bad. We’re not all good, either. We’re somewhere along a continuum, and I think we are worse when we think we are. In other words, when we think of ourselves as bad and subscribe to the doctrine of self-deprecation, we tend to be what we think we are. And if we are not, but believe we are, then we live trapped in a world of condemnation and confusion.
I’m subscribing to the principle of healthy self-appreciation. I don’t need any help finding my flaws. I’ve had plenty of practice and others are more than likely to help with the job :). I do need a bit of help finding the good.
I think what I’m saying is that we need to learn to love ourselves. The less we love ourselves, the less we love others. I believe there is a direct correlation between self-love and others-love.
If you read the words of the miracle-working, self-loving, others-loving, healthy-living, prophesying, preaching man named Jesus, he promoted self-love prior (or at least alongside) others-love. He’s recorded as saying that men should love each other as they love themselves.
One of the basic principles of life is you can’t give what you don’t have. And sometimes you can get what you don’t have by trying to get it. I think there has to be a balance. I have experienced a growth of self-love through acts of service/love to others. The truth is that we have a lot to give.
One of my roles as a counselor-in-training is to help clients see what they do have. And I believe that there are times when you have to give what you don’t think you have in order to discover that you have it. Sometimes you do not feel capable of giving love, but upon attempting to give it, you find resources that were untapped and unrecognized. Through this, self-love grows.
So I am not advocating self-love that simply loves self, because I don’t think we can really love ourselves if we are not loving others. The two are inextricably linked. I am advocating both and see self-deprecation as eliminating both.
posted by Dave Jones at 5:16 PM
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